REFLECTIONS FROM THE SHADOWS

Reflections are often surprising and magical, defying reality and inspiring the imagination. They appear in unexpected places and their depths can merge every day scenes into multi-layered fantasies. They became my creative playground, often with hidden meanings. Dreamlike and mysterious, Reflections mirrored my life. I was often filled with a distorted and scary reality but eventually I became hopeful and positive once again.

I began photographing reflections around my house and garden while I was recovering from Cold Long-Hauler. My dark nightmares tormented me and I felt as if I was constantly searching for clarity and understanding. Reality did not always seem clear to me. I often felt that when I awoke from my dreams, that I had died and I was haunting my own house and family. I would wake up, lay in bed and try to remember who and where I was. Silent, afraid to share too much.

These photographs of colorful reflections gave me an artistic outlet and a way to show the world my way of experiencing life at that time. The beautiful mixture of the garden blooming; the vibrant colors from the trees, palms and sky, was a ghostly mixture melting into the interiors filled with portraits, rocking chairs, stairs and memories. It was hard to imagine where the inside and the outside met but it flowed beautifully. They made sense to me and their composition was a metaphor for the way my my brain was functioning. My daily life was like an erratic maze, and my memory was a dynamic and confused energy - constantly searching.

I find the photographs of the distorted images very comforting and they confirm the reality of the strange sense of what I was experiencing. I feel reassured that my recovery during this time in my life was not just a dream. The lightning bolts in my head have subsided and I can see both worlds now with clarity and compassion. I have also overcome my sense of loss. The Reflections became a festive and creative beauty within my new world.

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” Quote by Carl Jung.